Cultivating Intention in the New Year
For nearly a decade I have been picking a word as a theme to light up my new year, straying away from goals and resolutions. My guiding intention for 2021 was creativity. While I pick a word as a theme specifically to liberate myself from the binding rigidity of goals, I fell into my own folly this year. I had visions of my word inspiring another children’s book, more blog posts, more videos, more content, more drawing and doodling, and general creativity…all more in the field of goal versus intention. Oh, how the universe has a sense of humor. As the year wound down, I found myself posting less, grinding to a near halt on my social media presence. I have been making less videos, less content, less generating all together. As the winter season nestled in, I reflected on what I had to show for an entire year of “creativity.”
For me, a caterpillar transforming into a butterfly is the symbolism of embodied creativity, as it involves a whole and complete journey, starting as one thing, going through a cocoon, then emerging transformed. The caterpillar must go through the dark hallowed womb space to emerge renewed as the butterfly.
One of my favorite stories is of a person who saw a butterfly struggling to get out of the cocoon. The person tried to gently cut away the cocoon to free the butterfly. However, it was through struggling out of the cocoon that the butterfly was able to drain any fluids from her wings to allow herself to fly. Every phase in the cycle of transformation is important, and even the struggle forward and through the cocoon has its place and purpose.
When you choose a theme for an entire year, the depth of understanding of that single word deepens profoundly in its invitation into every interaction for 365 days. I had pictured a much more extroverted creativity. I never would have thought creativity would have me nestled into a cocoon of forced stillness, of true introversion. I haven’t put out nearly as much content as I have in previous years, and yet I am seeing so much wonderful creation all around me. I don’t always have to be the one generating it, sometimes we are called to bear witness to other’s creativity and to share in the cocreation all around us.
Nothing highlights this more for me than our recent trip to Scotland. I imagined it to be a butterfly, but instead I got a cocoon. We spent months planning this homecoming trip to visit my husband’s family for the first time in three years. We had visions of hugs, celebratory toasts, cooking meals together, and rivaling in family games. The universe had other plans.
My husband had to go on 4 separate flights to get an emergency passport just before the trip, our bags were lost for the first few days, we got rear-ended in a rental car while here, but most explosively, we have both tested positive for Covid-19 and are in a quarantine. Eckhart Tolle says, “Acceptance means for now, this is what this situation, this moment, requires me to do, and so I do it willingly.” We have been incredibly fortunate to have a room to quarantine in and family to be able to bring us food and drink at a distance. This time has been a forced invitation to slow down, practice receiving, practice being still and quiet and to reflect in this isolated cocoon with my husband.
I have never had such an extended period of being still, as we have been hunkered down in Scotland for over a week. I always thought I would use a retreat like this to write more posts, publish more videos, generate more content for social media, but when it all comes down to it, I haven’t. I have gotten to know the quieter, more subtle, side of creativity….the importance of the cocoon. I think this whole season has reminded me that our worth is not tied up in generatively. Creativity does not have to be synonymous with productivity, it can be the simple embodiment of transformation.
This year, while I have not generated many tangible things, I have created beautiful healing conversations with clients, created connection with horses, created curiosity, created laughter with friends and family, and have felt the spark of creative hope in times of darkness.
As we approach 2022, the word for the year that bubbles up for me is connection. I can create, but in the absence of connection, does it matter? I am eager to see how things will unfold in the intention for connection in 2022. If you are interested in cultivating an intention for the new year, I invite you to try this short meditation and visualization, along with guidance on how to make a vision board for 2022, and to bring some ritual into honoring this new beginning.
What are your words for 2022?
