How to Quiet the Mind
One of the best ways to quiet the mind is to let go of the intention to have a quiet mind. Focusing on giving permission for the thoughts to emerge can be helpful in quelling the chaos in our head. If we don’t allow space for our thoughts to exist, they can become louder, creating a challenge. After all, what we resist persists. Many hold the expectation that meditation has to be a totally quiet mind, which is often unachievable for even the most advanced practitioners. Focusing on meeting the thoughts with ahimsa, nonjudgmental awareness, can be a helpful starting point.
One practice I enjoy for this is setting a timer for 3-5 minutes and seeing what emerges with gentle curiosity. Without trying to change the thoughts or harness them in any way, the practice is about being the neutral observer of the mind space. If it feels challenging to start with the thoughts, we can also use nature and mindfulness practices as a starting point. How many different textures do you feel, how many different birds can you hear, how many different colors do you see all around you? Using the senses can be one way to tap back into the quiet of the present moment, free from the pathways of the past or trails of the future.
At times, our thoughts can feel like they are screaming at us, often because it can be an aspect or part of our Self that isn’t having their needs met. Richard Schwartz, the founder of Internal Family Systems, explores how we all have different aspects of ourselves vying for our attention. When things feel chaotic in my mind, I like to picture my highest Self sitting at the head of a board room table, with twelve or more different parts of me all vying for my attention around the room. When everyone is screaming, it gets a bit chaotic. The inner child part might be wanting to run and play, the adventurer part wanting to drop everything and hop on a flight across the ocean. These are all just parts of me. It becomes complicated and challenging when we overly blend with one aspect of self, rather than remembering it is a part of the whole.
I find it helpful to give each part a turn to voice their opinions, imagining going through the room, and giving each one a few minutes to state their case by venting or writing out everything that part wants to say. When I have given all of them a voice, then the highest part of myself can sift through the information to decide on appropriate action forward. For example, at times when I am feeling overwhelmed about chores to be done, I will let the perfectionist part of me vent. She might say she is worried the house isn’t clean enough, someone will judge her mess, or worried that something is going to be lost or forgotten in the chaos. Then accessing the maternal, compassionate part of myself, I can validate those feelings and meet them with kindness. One part can tend to the needs of another part.
Listening for our highest Self amidst the chaos is like listening for the call of the ocean beneath the waves of the sea. Each emotion, perception, or thought is just a wave in the present moment that will come and pass. Sometimes our thoughts stir us up into a tizzy like a hurricane, but the depth of being is always below the surface, if we can sit still and wait for the storm to pass. We can be the awareness of the wave, not the wave itself. Each of emotion might be rooted in an aspect of ourselves, but it is not the only part of us.
If we can learn to listen for the space between the waves, even if only a glimmer, we can hear the wisdom, serenity, guidance, and knowing of our highest Self starting to emerge. Direction and knowing speaks in a whisper. If we are turning to tons of people on the internet or friends and family members for guidance and advice, it often clogs up our own thinking into chaos and confusion of differing opinions. It may be helpful to settle the body with some movement, listen to the birds and sounds of nature, then be still, and notice the waves settling. The storm will quell, the mind will quiet, revealing that which we need to know as a whisper from our heart.
