A Yoga Therapist’s Guide for Navigating the Holidays
The holidays can be a season of welcomed joy and celebration, twinkle lights and tasty treats, but for many they can also be laced with grief and loneliness. People may yearn for loved ones who are no longer with them, or for a parent or child they never had, or find themselves wishing to be with someone far away. In light of the election and the physical distance from the pandemic, many are walking into 2020 holiday season with added anxiety. Whether you are spending time alone or with family this holiday season, here are a few thoughts for navigating the holidays using the guiding principles of the yamas and niyamas.
Aparigraha. Diets can get funky around the holidays and we can often find ourselves eating or drinking things we normally wouldn’t, which can also impact our mood. You get to put boundaries around consumption. Explore the goal of small meals throughout the day, as opposed to one major blowout. If you aren’t eating a certain food, like meat, dairy, gluten, make sure to bring one of your own dishes along to share with others. If you aren’t drinking this holiday season, bring your own mocktails or kombucha.
Tapas. Often having a ritual of self-care helps create a more regulated baseline for our mood. Established daily practices help ensure that the highs and lows of our emotions aren’t quite so drastic. Stick to your non holiday routine even through the holidays. And if you don’t have a daily routine or ritual, explore adding in 5 min of silence after you brush your teeth, or while drinking coffee in the morning as a starting point.
Bramacharya. You get to choose mindfully how you direct your energy, focus, and attention—including self restraint in conversation. Not up for discussing the election with your family members at the table? Or discussing pandemic responses? Draw a topic boundary. It’s ok to get up and leave or take some alone time if someone isn’t honoring that boundary. If you aren’t up for a late night out, or hours of conversation, set a time limit. It is perfectly ok to bow out when you feel that time boundary is up.
Sauca. Keep it clean. Take some time to bathe physically, and to check in with your mental and emotional energy. If you are stewing in negative thoughts, explore taking a walk or burning some sage to clear your energy. If things are feeling heated or you have been in one room for hours, try a change of scenery. Epsom salt soaks can be helpful for alleviating stress and anxiety. If you need physical space, it’s perfectly ok to not shake hands, hug, kiss, and to even take some quiet time alone whenever you need. Taking physical space can be incredibly nourishing and cleansing.
Satya. Tell the truth. Remember, boundaries are ultimately ours to hold and it’s important to not only name a boundary, but to also maintain it. If someone is pushing holes in your boundaries, make sure that you bolster the buttresses and speak your truth. Honesty about how you are feeling in these uncertain times may also be helpful. Speaking your truth just might ripple out into giving someone else permission to share their true feelings too.
Svadhyaya. Study yourself. Quiet stillness and mindful movements can help give our nervous system an extra boost, and journaling can be a way of processing through all of the feelings coming up around the holidays and keeping track of practices that work well for us personally. It may be helpful to have a proactive list of self-care items and self-soothers. Self-care measures, such as walking, meditation, journaling, breathing, can help us to have more bandwidth in our nervous system and help us move back to calm swiftly after a trigger. If you are already on edge, try one of your self-soothers, including a warm self-hug, tremoring, a deep sigh, or an Epsom salts bath or foot soak.
Asteya. For the holidays, make sure you aren’t stealing breath from yourself. If you catch yourself so overwhelmed that you aren’t breathing, pause…and just breathe. Our breath is something that happens automatically through our autonomic nervous system, but is also something that we can tap into consciously to choose how we regulate it. Choosing to breathe, or to intentionally extend the exhale, is a way to hijack your nervous system off autopilot and put it into a state of regulation. Play with extending the exhale or pausing after your exhale for a calming effect.
Santosha. Strive for contentment, which means dropping the comparison. When everyone else’s Christmas cards start pouring in, looking like loads of fun and joy, don’t be tempted to buy into the illusion of comparison. There is dukkah, there is suffering, there is hardship. Behind all of those smiling faces is likely struggle. There is room for you in this world, don’t minimize yourself by comparison. And remember everyone is fighting a hard battle so compassion towards yourself and others is crucial.
Ahimsa. Go easy on yourself. You are worthy of holding and setting boundaries, even going into the holidays. You are worthy of love and attention, connection and affection. You are worthy of kind thoughts towards yourself. Be kind towards yourself and others and practice nonviolence.
Isvara Pranidhana. In the face of challenge, it’s important to practice staying humble and turned towards a higher power. Honor alone time. Go for a walk on your own, or retreat to a room for quiet stillness. This can be a time for prayer or for calling on your highest self. Remember holidays are holy days, days meant for reflection and connection.
Above all else, be very gentle with yourself. We are all fragile at the end of 2020, and the self-care is not just a delightful treat, it’s an absolute necessity. Give yourself a lot of space and give everyone else a wide berth too. You are so valuable.
